Postpartum Intimacy
Getting back to having sex after having a baby can be daunting and even painful but it doesn’t have to be. There are things you can do that will help you get comfortable with sex with your partner and even help yourself feel sexy again. Getting back to feeling like a normal person and feeling sexy again can actually help with your mental health.
During your 6 week postpartum doctor visit you could be cleared to workout and have sex again. Now you may be excited or you maybe be dreading it. I see a lot of reels on social media about women being cleared for sex again and them saying nope not happening.. now why is this?
It could be because you aren’t ready mentally, you’re exhausted, it’s painful, you don’t feel sexy, struggling to find the time, or something else entirely. Let’s take a look at these and see what steps you can take you address some of this road blocks so you can get back to enjoying sexy time with your partner.
Being a mom to a new baby is a lot of work and you may just be feeling exhausted and not up to it physically and mentally. Ask your partner to take the baby for some time and take a nice hot shower to relax, wash your hair, shave your legs etc or even take a nice bath. Doing some self care time while your partner watches the baby is a great way to relax and feel like yourself again. It might be the thing that helps you feel up to having intimate time again.
We have found that nap times the baby slept lightly and was very contact based so for us after getting baby to bed that’s when we had our intimate time.
Maybe you can have your mother or mother in law take the baby for a walk and that will give you and your partner some alone time. Hey maybe a nap is what you need to feel refreshed after feedings and diaper changes all night
If you are experiencing pain than it’s time to do some pelvic floor work and pull out that lube! You can find a specialist that works on the pelvic floor to loosen up the muscles and gradually the pain will go away. Doing some squats and deadlifts are also a great way to strengthen and stretch the muscles and help with the pain. I found that after doing squats and deadlifts sex afterwords was a lot more comfortable. Also going to a chiropractor to get adjusted is important because pregnancy and birth is traumatic on the body. Don’t forget the lube!! After giving birth your hormones won’t be getting back to normal for a while, also if you are breastfeeding you maybe a little dry so pull out the line and enjoy some intimate time. Ask your partner for some foreplay too.
Maybe you’re just not feeling sexy? What I find is having some sex toys and sexy clothes could help with that. Find something you can wear that you feel sexy in, maybe ask your partner to include some of your favorite bedroom toys. There is nothing like putting on some sexy clothes and having your partner want you to help you feel sexy and like yourself again.
Talk with your partner and let them know how you are feeling, at what speed you want to take things, what your ready for and if you need support from them to get back to enjoying sex and intimacy with them.
Hopefully some these things can help you get back to enjoying some intimate time with your partner. And remember to use protection!
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